Are you wondering how to talk with your child or teen about having a psychoeducational assessment? This is a common question. Here are some ideas about how to start the conversation.

In a nutshell, the purpose of an assessment is to “learn about how you learn,” so that:

• Teachers know how to teach you

• Parents know how to support you

• You know how to advocate for yourself

Introducing the idea of an assessment to your child may sound something like:

• I’ve noticed you’re working really hard at ____ this year, but it still seems pretty tough. Have you noticed that too? I’ve been thinking that if we knew more about how you learn best, your teachers and I could do a better job teaching you. Recently, we met with a person named (clinician’s name) who can help us find a way to make school easier for you and figure out what we can do differently.

Describing the process

When your child comes in, we will do different activities to better understand how they think and learn.  We will do puzzles, play word games, chat about what they like to do, and try to figure out why hard things are hard. We will also get to know more about your child’s personality, feelings, behaviours, and relationships.

For young children, it may be important to let them know that this is not like a medical appointment.  They are not sick and there is nothing wrong with them - also, no shots!

Older children or teens may need a reminder that this is a confidential process, focused on learning more about them. Their input is extremely important to figuring out what will be most helpful for them.

You can also let your child know there will be opportunities during their assessment visits for breaks and snacks.

Explaining the process may sound something like:

• (Clinicians names) will do different activities with you to figure out how you learn best, where your strengths are, and why some things might feel hard right now. Some will be fun, some will be easy, and some will challenge you. Your job is just to do your best, and if something is tricky, let (clinicians names) know so you can work together to figure out why!

• While you’re visiting the office, you will also get to make some choices like what kind of chair you want to sit in and when you want to take breaks. You can bring your own snacks and water, or they have some snacks at the office you can choose.

Encouraging your child’s input

Helping your child to come up with their own assessment questions will not only help us help them, but will get them more invested in the process itself.

Kids may need a little time to mull it over and get their thoughts together, so don’t be afraid to ask a few times.  This may sound something like:

• I’m wondering what you’d like to know about how you learn, or why certain things are easy and others are hard?  If you can’t think of anything right now, that’s ok.  I’ll ask you again later and we can try to write down a list together.  That will make sure that the work you do with (clinicians names) is as helpful as possible.    

What if my child does not want to be assessed?

If you are worried your child will resist coming in for an assessment, you are not alone!  Here are some tips for setting it up for success.

Tip #1: Use your child’s words

Many children resist testing because it feels like adults don’t get it.  For this reason, it can be helpful to think about how your child is describing the problem.  

For example, instead of “writing is hard,” they may say, “writing is boring” or “my teacher is unfair.”   By using their language, you are assuring them that we will help them address their problem, not just ours. This might sound like:

• I’ve noticed that you really don’t like your math teacher this year. I’m wondering if there’s a way we could make that class better for you.

• I’ve noticed that we’ve had some arguments about school work lately. I know you don’t like it and I don’t like it either. I wonder if there’s a way we can break out of this cycle.

• I’ve noticed you’re getting in trouble a lot this year and it doesn’t seem to make sense. I wonder if there’s a way we can figure it out together.

• I heard you say that you hate school, and I can understand that! Let’s see if there’s a way to change that.

Tip #2: Talk over a fun activity

Some children may be worried they’ve done something wrong, or that there is something wrong with them.  For this reason, we recommend talking to your child in a place where it is obvious that there is nothing wrong and they are not in trouble. Having a bowl of ice cream, taking the dog for a walk, or playing catch are all good ways to have a conversation without it feeling too “serious”.

Tip #3: Problem-solve as a team

If your child is having a really hard time or refusing to come in, we will work together to figure it out. Please talk with us if this is the case so we can work as a team to make a plan.